Twas The Nite Before Friend Connect

Twas the nite before Thanksgiving, and all thru the net,
No friend connect widget stirring, not even one yet.

My hopes were high, as I Googled with care,
In hopes that Friend Connect, soon would be there.

Most Normal people, were snug in their beds,
No visions of Google, danced in THEIR heads.

So here I sit antsy, staring at my machine,
Looking for a Blogger widget, that only I’ve seen.

When there on the screen, I had what mattered,
I sprang from my seat, because what of Google had splattered…
Away to my email, I flew like a flash,
To tell everyone I know, and act like an ass.

But wait I said, in Google only I know,
Where the places, Googling Social will go,
The bastards can wait, no giveaways I’ll show.

In the days past, Google has made it clear,
Only to Chris Lang, shall I appear,

I saw it on blogger while so lively and quick,
The Followers widget, was Friend Connect so slick,
But then Google pulled it back, just to be a dick.

More rapid than my problems, my ideas they came,
Called my site Phishing, Trend Micro too shame,
They all whistled, shouted, and called me bad names.

Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

Like flying reindeer, I saw the pieces,
I put them all together, and they were well hid,
I’m telling you true, I really did.

Not goona convince you, won’t even try,
When met with an obstacle, I am more sly,
This time I shot video, took on the fly.

I recorded it all Google, this time I got,
He figured it out first, he’s taking his shot,
No one can say, Chris Lang did not.

There up on stage, so soon I will go,
First time or not, I’m runnin the show,
Scared to death and nervous, but not that you’ll know.

Soon then in San Diego I will show proof,
Google loves Digging, this was no spoof.

The more I help you, more my critics abound,
Now in the last moments please gather round;

A new Chris Lang emerges, dressed in what matters lack,
I’ve been a pauper, a peddler, a waiter and that,
My eyes — how they twinkle! Chris Lang is back!

My Diggs they still get hated, banned, heck even buried!
Just keep Diggin that’s all, I must go with the flow,
But still full of confidence, forward I go.

On the golden path, I take this trip,
With the stump of a Marlboro, wedged my grip,
In the past I told all, thinking I was quite flip,
Only Boomhauer can say, oh what a trip.

It does not matter, that for nine years I did,
Failed at everything tried, attempted or bid,
You can’t beat me, for I have a destiny,
Got kicked off Digg, four times they messed with me.

That is the past, so what about it?
All you do is sit on Digg, get Dugg and shouted!

But now as I look back App, and trust me I know,
Nor would I be here, not ready to show,
Learned visitors are people, not numbers, no, no.

I would not have the skills, to make this last stand,
If I had not started from nothing, with my hat in my hand,
My new friend Lorna, trusted me to land.

Only four weeks ago, I was between,
I stood there beat down, on Halloween,
Was damn near homeless, but I wasn’t hopeless,
I am Chris Lang, you know what I mean.

We have been waiting for months, come on Google you truck,
I stand here hoping, that Friend Connect don’t suck.

Now listen closely because it is quite late,
Chris Lang is here to help you, got allot on his plate,
I gotta be up early, gotta thanksgiving date.

But first to my friend John, because without his inspiration,
With out his help, with out his dedication,
I would had no one, to share with,
Stupid Kevin Rose jokes, and my Indiggnation.

Now back to Google, my hopes are quite slight,
Friend Connect I hate you, but you’ve shown me the light,
Go Googling Social, so socially bright,
“Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good nite.”

All fun aside, I would not be here today, if not for Boomhauer, App, Lorna, Austin, Brian and of course John.


  1. Posted November 27, 2008 at 5:46 am | Permalink

    Bravo! Great poem :)

  2. JohnT
    Posted November 29, 2008 at 9:44 am | Permalink

    A good way to say “nil carborundum illegitimi'”. :)