Chris Lang’s Happy Birthday Extravaganza

Win a Copy of my Book, Chris Lang is almost pushing 50, KeyWebData celebrates 5 years online and I celebrate my first Internet success!

Google Social Marketing Viral Friends List Builder

On my birthday I will be releasing the Google Social Marketing Viral Friends List Builder so keep an eye out for it here. I will be posting it before I head out to the Diamond Back’s game against St. Louis on September 3rd. If you are at the game, text me and we can meet up. It won’t cost a thing and you won’t have to sign up to my newsletter. The link will be open to all next Wednesday. This will be cool.

Happy Birthday Chris Lang and, Oohhh! CRACK It Is A GRAND SLAM!

September 3rd I turn 45 years old and KeyWebData turns 5. I uploaded the site for the first time on my 40th birthday.

After 9 years of failing at everything I tried on the Internet, couldn’t give away Video Email, blew FeedBurner out of the water but couldn’t launch it, affiliate programs sucked and just a general lack of personal focus, Chris Lang HITS ONE OUT OF THE PARK!

You notice how I am pointing at something in my latest social pic? That’s me pointing to where the ball is going to go.

I just did my first JV deal and am now a personal and monetary success. No bragging will be done, that is all I have to say. I hope you all find you place on the Internet a little faster than I did. And thank you Jen for finding such value in my work.

Even though I sucked at everything I tried, I never thought for a minute I would not succeed.

Thanks to my ex wife Kim, that spent most of her time yelling at me for going anywhere near my computer. Thank you Austin for selling me my first computer that did not work, EVER. Thank you Hank Miner for listening to all my complaints and pipe dreams for 7 long years. Thank you Nicole for bringing me back into the real world. Thank you Paul Myers for trying to teach me how to write a decent story. Thanks to John McGowan, without you I would have never figured out Digg or Google social. And THANK YOU Boomhauer, for sending me down the Golden Path. Without any of you I would be working behind a bar this week instead of watching sales pour in on my phone while I begin to live life again.

This birthday is like no other, it is the death of the old Chris Lang and the birth of whatever and whoever I decide to be.

I have decided to take the next week off from real work and celebrate the beginning of the second half of my life with Boomhauer, my best friend, for the next week straight. If you are in Phoenix any time between now and September 3rd (my actual birthday) give me a call and Boomhauer and I will hang out. It will be the wildest night you have had in a long while.

Also I will be posting the G rated pictures from my week long rampage of happy hour, pool halls, early morning casino runs, probably at least one bar fight, my first MLB DiamondBacks game and just my version of Chris Lang takes a Ferris Beuler’s Day Off.

Also my friends Joe Justin and Alexander Alric have just opened the Google Social Marketing FaceBook group. I am looking forward to seeing you all there.

You decide what the heck Chris Lang does for his birthday week in Phoenix

I think I have spent so much time at the computer that I forgot what I used to do for fun.

I am leaving it up to you. Come up with a Ferris Buellers Day Off type suggestion for me and my buddy Boomhauer, you get a copy of my book and all the bonuses too. Already bought it? I will give you a 30 minutes no holds barred consultation. Let’s be original and if you can come up with something that I have not done in this town in 20 years, I WILL take your suggestion.

Post your Chris Lang Birthday week off stupid Blogger tricks in the comments below.

Seven Days Until Chris Lang’s Birthday Extravaganza

If you feel the need you can buy Chris Lang a beer here. I promise to completely throw your money away on song, women and wine.

Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. No animals were hurt during the making of this blog post. Celebrity appearances are impersonated and poorly so. All stunts were performed by trained professionals. Do not try this at home, you will only hurt yourself.

Day one:

Guys night out and chasing girls half our age. I may be turning 45 but I am still 20 years old and can still outrun any youngster.


Yeah, that’s Boomhauer, the girl and her friend kicked our butt on the pool table all night. We didn’t mind. The quarter is the last cash we had, they took it all.


Yeah, that good looking guy is Chris Lang. The pretty one is Chance.

Day two: We finish off the nite with a little Champagne…

I have been saving this Methuselah of champagne for three years supposedly to be opened upon my big success. Well, I decided being a success has alot more to do with myself than money, traffic, sales and anything of monetary definition.


Instead of that champagne being about the future, it was about the past. It had everything to do with WHAT I wanted to be and not WHO I AM. That FRAKIN bottle has brought me bad luck so many times in the last three years. Everytime I planned to open it something bad happened.

I nearly killed by best friend 3 years ago because of his disrespect to me on Christmas when we were supposed to open that bottle. Never spoke to him again and I never will. If I do, I just may finish the job.

I was to open that bottle for the house warming of the home we were to have together in my last relationship. Never happened.

I always said that I would open that bottle when I was a success on the Internet. That day will never come.

I realized that I was judging my success by other people’s standards and that no matter how much money I make, what I am by Google’s decision and what other people label me as, it has nothing to do with my success.

I keep planning to open that FRAKIN bottle when I had a reason to. I decided there was a good reason. To stop dragging the past around with me and move on. Look at the comments on this post. I would say I am a success just by the fact that I have found so many good people that take the time to wish me a happy birthday.

At midnight last nite I cracked it and left all my failed plans, past frustrations, disappointments and bad luck behind.


Day Three: Diamond Backs game at 5:30 tonite against LA.

If you are there text me an we can meet up.

My scope for today, at 4:51 Sunday, August 31st.

Today will bring you a little bit of this, a little bit of that — a mix of experiences that will all be so diverse that it will be hard to make heads or tails of where your life is going next. But this won’t be an unpleasant sensation at all. In fact, it will be a great day for you because it will teach you to have no expectations and to just let life take you where it takes you. Sometimes, having no particular plan or feeling to adhere to helps ensure that you are never wrong.

Day Four:

A non G rated adventure…..

Day Five


Day Six

Had to work with Google breaking most of the SEO software out there I wanted to make sure you all got the heads up that Google social is coming and coming fast.

Day Seven

Today is actually my birthday and here is my present for you all. This is a hour long Chris Lang interview with Alexander Alaric, the leader of the FaceBook Google Social Marketing group.

You can get the audio here

If you are an affiliate of mine, you got an email about this so follow the instructions.

I want to take a minute here to thank you all for your birthday wishes and I look forward to delivering you the best content I can. It means so much to me that you could take time out to write these heartfelt birthday wishes.

Daniel Pyle is the winner my book for the best stupid blogger birthday trick, you can read his suggestion in the comments below.


  1. Posted August 29, 2008 at 5:25 pm | Permalink

    Hey Chris

    I see that Life is looking up for you. But what’s with the “PUSHING” 50?

    Here’s what sweet George Carlin had to say about that line:

    Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids?
    If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
    “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!”

    You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on
    five! That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back.

    You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. “How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!”
    You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

    And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the
    words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YEAS!!!

    But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk.
    He TURNED, we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling.

    What’s wrong? What’s changed?

    You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.

    Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.
    Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.

    But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

    So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

    You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a
    day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

    You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

    And it doesn’t end there.

    Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I was JUST 92.”

    Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.

    “I’m 100 and a half!”

    May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

    Happy Birthday Chris

    And .. keep it coming!

    Jonathan Gunson

  2. Posted August 29, 2008 at 11:46 pm | Permalink

    Hey Pal, Happy birthday, just learned about your work last week while hanging out with Ron Capps at Impact. Curious if you knew anything about which seems to be a social app they are putting in beta.

    I know your a big on Google going social and curious what your thoughts are.

    Happy Bday! Seems everyone is having one, last week was Rons

    See you at the School of SM


  3. Posted August 30, 2008 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    hi Chris

    Well mate I hope you have a great week. I will send you the money for the beer when you send me the proof you can remember me buying it for it for you !!!!

    hey, and you are just a young kid yet !!! I am pensioner now so you better treat me with respect !!!!

    you online pal

  4. J.Ramya
    Posted August 30, 2008 at 1:53 am | Permalink

    Hai Sir,
    Many Many Happy returns Sir.


  5. Posted August 30, 2008 at 8:59 am | Permalink

    Hey Chris,

    Happy birthday my friend!

    Wow, 45 I can finally write you in as a candidate. I think Day 2 should be campaign day for you! Chris Lang for President of ……..?

    Who cares just make up T-Shirts and then campaign wherever you are for President. President of McDonald’s, President of Gabby’s Pub, It doesn’t matter! The documentary will be great on YouTube even if you have to publish it in the adult section.

    Best wishes my friend…..oh and being from St. Louis I hope you enjoy the game. I will be watching for your mug on the big screen.

    Hey…..haven’t seen a good streaker on the ball diamond for a long time. Well, be thrilled you are there and I am here because your new found fortune would only go to bail you out of jail. For more ideas send me an email. I can’t teach you to get out of trouble but I damn sure can get you in it.

    Your friend (for now),

    Daniel Pyle

  6. Posted August 30, 2008 at 9:33 am | Permalink

    Happy Birthday Chris!
    I am sure the best is yet to come. Thanks for all your insights and sharing it all with us. Your book is awesome.

  7. Posted August 30, 2008 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    @Jonathan, I said ALMOST pushing 50. ALMOST ok? Just to clarify things, I look 35 and feel like 20….

    @Daniel, I am not sure what to make of Chris Lang for president, but it sounds great. Being naked on live TV, not so much.

    @Rocque, you are still going to have my children, right?

    Thanks everybody, I value you all and you are my success.

  8. Posted August 30, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    LOL @Chris!
    I keep telling you to find the store where you can rent the kids. Find a girl 1/2 your age with twice your money who loves to work and you stay home with the kids.
    The trouble with men twice my age is that most are dead, or paying ex-wives all that they own.
    It sounds like you are having a great birthday bash though. Continue to enjoy and when you are back to work we will all continue to celebrate your success.

  9. Posted August 31, 2008 at 7:32 am | Permalink

    Happy Birthday Chris!

    Congratulations on your first JV!

  10. VJBennett
    Posted September 1, 2008 at 5:33 pm | Permalink

    Have a Great Birthday Week!

    I love celebrating a week on my birthday, too. Surprised you were 45 — thought from your site and emails you were younger. So either you’re young at heart — or I’m older than my years.

    Thanks for all your help.

  11. Posted November 10, 2008 at 1:53 pm | Permalink

    Whoops! missed this one…Happy Birthday Chris.

    Take it easy on the whatever you need to take it easy on, but drive towards whatever you want to…sounds like I’ve been celebrating too.

    At least we have the freedom to choose.